Monday, September 19, 2011

If I die young: The story of the man who saved my life

In the fall of 2005, I began my freshman year of high school. Scared and nervous, I had no idea that the upcoming year would change my life forever; Had I known that I would fall in love, true, true love only to lose him in a fatal car accident 6 months later... I would still do it all the same.

JD Ervin was a junior when I was just a wee little freshmen. Of course, I knew exactly who he was before he knew who I was. At 6'4" 230 pounds of solid muscle, he was a hard fella to miss :) Plus the fact that he was one of the most popular guys in school, captain of the football team, and extremely good looking also had something to do with it.



I met JD for the first time at a JV football game, right after I had finished my softball game. I was a freshmen, starting on varsity so I was feeling pretty darn good about life. We had just beat a team ranked higher than us so it was a pretty big deal, ha. I went to the football game directly after, still in uniform, head held high, and everything. JD was sitting with some people that I knew so I went and talked to them, not thinking much of it. When I started telling said friends about the game, JD chimed in with his big ol' grin and said, "so wait... you won right?!" I shakily/giddily replied with, "YEAH WE DID!" He then proceeded to give me a high five and a congratualtions. I literally about pee'd my pants from excitement {HE TALKED TO ME!} and swore to never wash my hand again. For the next few months we randomly started chatting in the hallways *hi, hey* what's up*... You know, high school lingo and also on xanga ((anyone remember that?!)). Then one day he gave me his number saying we should hang out sometime. Holy bananas. I was ecstatic. I will never forget talking to my mum saying, "so... should I text him?!" she said, "Why not? What do you have to lose..."
The rest is history! We ended up talking all the time after that, hanging out, making out {yeeeah buddy} and then after a few weeks (which of course in high school time is like 947569587 years) we became an official couple.



We quickly fell madly in love. Not just the typical high school puppy dog love. I mean the real deal, his and her, never part, need each other kind of love. The kind that makes you a better person. The kind that constantly supports you in all you do in life. The kind were nothing else matters except making that person happy for the rest of your life and giving them the world, no matter what the cost. The kind where neither person loves the other more, just simply equal amounts of unconditional love. When I would travel to my mums house for the weekends (divorced parents) he began traveling with me and staying the weekend with my family there because we couldn't stand to be apart for more than a day. He was literally everywhere I was, and I with him. We began talking about the future and making plans for his football career (as he was already getting letters from OU, TU, and OSU to play-- seriously, kid was a beast). He decided that he would play at TU first so he could stay close to me :) Sweet boy. Then, once I graduated we would make a decision on where we wanted to go together.


On the night of April 21st 2005, all those plans we made, all the promises we had said, came to a horrible end. JD and I were out with a big group of our friends, seeing scary movies then driving through the countryside to go see haunted graveyards.. The weird stuff you do in high school that seems so cool at the time. There were so many of us and not many cars, so 8 of us crammed into an Explore Sport SUV, a car that typically sits 5 people. JD and I were in the very back cargo area, sitting horizontal to the direction of the car. We were only going less than 5 minutes up the road... What could go wrong, right? Wrong. On the way to the haunted landing, our driver lost control of the car and we flipped four times, throwing 6 of the 8 of us out of the car, JD and myself included. We each suffered injuries in some way shape or form, mine being a broke pelvis in four different places and a completely shattered left foot. JD suffered severe injuries to his entire body, both internally and externally. Even at his massive size and strength, he was no match for fate.
JD did not pass instantly. We were blessed to have 15 more days with him in a coma before the good Lord called him home on May, 6th 2005.

What most people don't realize is that that night, JD Ervin saved my life. As I said, we were in the very back of the car sitting horizontally with me sitting in between his legs as the car was traveling forward. When JD realized we were going to crash, he wrapped his giant body; arms, legs, head, and all, around me and sheltered me. The detectives said that when we were thrown from the car we were still connected until the impact of the ground separated us. One of JD's injuries was a severed collar bone completely in half. That was from my head hitting his collar bone so hard upon hitting the ground. The detectives said had he not been holding me, there is no way my head and neck could have susatined such force. I am alive because of him. I owe him everything and each day, even if I don't realize it all the time, I am reminded subtly of what a true blessing each breath is.


Why am I telling you this story? Because today, September 19th, JD would have been 24 years old. He would be graduated from college, living his dream somewhere and I would be a proud wifey by his side every step of the way. But, God had a greater plan and He is still using JD to work in me and others each and everyday. I tell his story as a way of honoring him and proving that true love does still exist. I know I am so blessed to have known such a love and will never be able to replace JD's place in my heart. It's been 6 years now since he's been gone. Somedays it's a lifetime ago and others it feels as though it happened but a few weeks ago. I cannot wait to see that giant grin again and feel those big arms around me. He's my angel and I know that he is always with me, just as he always was here on earth.

I love you baby, happy birthday! Don't get too wild up there in heaven. Well, at least until I get there anyway :) Miss you and love you always.
-Your babygirl
John 15:13

23 comments:

Kelly said...

wow, I'm so sorry for your loss, Sam. I'm not really good at writing this kind of stuff, but he really is your angel. Thanks for sharing, this story brought tears to my eyes.

Shalyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shalyn said...

I cried through this whole entire post. I can't even begin to fathom what you went through, or what you are still having to go through. I almost didn't comment because honestly, I don't even know how to articulate my words in a way that would show you how sorry I am. This was a very brave post...and God rest his precious soul. He seemed like such an amazing guy! I know he is your guardian angel and is watching down on you every day. Happy Birthday to him, and if I could, I'd give you a HUGE hug. *Hugs* girly...xoxo!

little said...

i'm so sorry, girl. i lost my best friend in high school. i'm still trying to grasp it so i know how you feel.

love, little.

Lindsi said...

Wow, what a story?! I'm so sorry you've had to experience this kind of loss during your time on earth :( Your story was absolutely heart-wrenching to read, and that situation could have happened to any typical high-school kid just out having innocent fun with friends. I'm sure JD is smiling down on you today--Happy 24th Birthday to him!

Darlene said...

Wow I am so sorry for you loss. Your story brought tears and a huge smile to my face. Not everyone is lucky enough to find "true love" and even though he is unfortunately no longer here to share that love with you. His memory and the love you had will live on. As the saying goes "it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all". Thanks for sharing my thoughts are with you and his family today on his Birthday!

Kristen said...

This post really means a lot to me, I lost the love of my life five years ago. Actually in October it will be exactly five years. It's a hard thing to go through, I was 16, he was 18.. he was such an amazing person. He too, was in a car accident. No one knows what happened, he was only two driveways away from his own, around 6 in the morning. His mum heard the suv slam into a tree, and she told me she knew it had to be her son.. but till this day, he is still very missed, he was a truly great person, and everyone loved him. I bet he is up there with your man, doing boy things, waiting me; and your man waiting for you..
Thank you for posting this ♥

Caitlin said...

What a heart felt post. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, but you're so brave to share this with everyone and I will definitley be thinking of you and his family today. He is definitely watching over you and so crazy to know he was the actual person who saved you.

Corie said...

You're such an inspiring woman! And after all of the heartbreak to be so thankful for knowing that you had true love is amazing. You definitely have a Guardian Angel watching over you <3

Jessie Szmanda said...

{{{goosebumps}}} Thinking and praying for you today friend.

Amanda said...

This is hands down the most amazing story I've heard. I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for you today!

Ashley N. said...

Wow...You're so strong. He seems like an amazing guy.

simplysarah said...

I just cried reading this post. saying im sorry for your loss dosen't seem like quite enough, but thank you for sharing yours and jd's story. you are so lucky to have experienced such love and devotion and be able to look on this tragedy as a way to be the best you can be, its the best way to honor jd's life and your love for each other. sending good wishes your way today :)

Nicole said...

Love you very much, my friend. I am proud of what a strong person you are. Your life was spared because God knew you were strong enough to handle it. I didn't know JD, but I know he is definitely looking down on you and smiling at what an awesome person you have become.

Just the Two of US said...

Oh honey, I'm sooo sorry! Praying for you!

SherryB said...

I have been following your blog long enough to have read your heartbreak before. It still gives me chills to read it. I tell everyone I think you are my blogger soulmate because our lives are so similar. I lost the love of my life May 9, 2004. Weird how close the dates are, huh? Anyway- I think you are an extraordianry woman and I am so greatful to be inspired by you each time I log on. Thank you for sharing and opening your heart so that the rest of the world can be inspired.

lindsay said...

i had tears in my eyes the first time i read about JD and i have tears again. the way you tell your story of how he saved your life, the love you had and everything in between is truly beautiful.

he is so lucky to have a beautiful loving person like you share the story how he saved your life...he is so lucky to have someone like you honor him. I wish i could tell him thank you for keeping you here for just a little while longer...i'm so lucky to know you and i hope one day i can tell him :) love you xo

FemminaDaVinci said...

I'm so sorry Sam.
Thanks so much for sharing. This is an amazing love story.

-Mallori said...

this was beautiful and brave of you to post. Love you lady.

chestnutmocha said...

I'm really sorry for it.. I think he feels all these thoughts and warm feelings you have.. you should enjoy this life for both of you.

Kristen said...

so sorry for your loss! thanks so much for sharing this story, God DOES have a bigger plan and it is incredible that you can share this story with all of us! God bless!!

Whitney said...

I am so sorry. I'll be thinking about you!

Katie said...

Oh hunnie. This story is so touching. You are so strong to have gone through that and be able to share this story with all of us. I have lost friends but never a love of my life. I know you'll find that love again, a different kind but you have so much love to give. It will be amazing.

xoxo
Katie