Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Surviving the Male Species: A must read

Remember yesterday how I said my roomie Liv would write some 
of the best stuff you've ever read?? 
Well... I rest my case. 
Olivia's tips on how to survive the male species: 

1. ALWAYS use tears as blackmail
2. NEVER try and give them hints... they never understand.
3. When a guy uses a pick-up line like 'If you were a burger at McDonalds i'd call you McBeautiful...'  WALK AWAY
4. If they turn and run when you pucker up... they probably aren't interested.
5. When a guy breaks up with you keep all his clothes... they are useful to practice your tie dye!
6. Always date someone taller than you
7. if your best mate is a player... DON'T set him up with a girl friend.
8. ALWAYS aim for a tradey.. they look good with dirt on their face.
9. If a guy punches a wall.. run.. you did something wrong!
10. Only talk to them during an ad break.. it's the only time they'll listen
11. DON'T ask them what they're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
12. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to.. expect an answer you don't want to hear.
13. Making a male sleep on the couch isn't punishment... it makes them feel like they are camping.
14. NEVER leave them alone around $3 beers.
15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and apparently neither do they.

--This is my roommate everyone! 
I'm pretty lucky to live next to a funny character like her! 
She's pretty much the bomb.com
Happy Tuesday/Wednesday loves :)  
{yeah it's Wed. for me!}


Amanda Moury said...

Ok seriously though, this is legit. LOL She's funny!! and completely right - boys and $3 beers, not so great. :)

Jax said...

haha! Love these! And um.. forgot to email you back, but I TOTALLY think we need to have a Panera date when you get back! How fun would that be?! Love it!

Anonymous said...

lol, I love these, so funny!

Miss K said...

LMAO!! Love it! and SOOO true! I could have a garage sale of all the clothes left from past bfs. It's great to use as rags, painting clothes, etc.

Pia said...

Ha, I love this! Too funny!

Chels said...

Great post! I needed that laugh! :)

Marie said...

Fun read.:D

Happy Wednesday to you!:D

***** Marie *****

FemminaDaVinci said...

These are hysterical!

Michelle said...

LMAO! I needed this laugh! This was hilarious!

Liv banana cake said...

haha thanks Olky and everyone else! this makes me happy :) Miss K i love your comment about you ex's clothes.. i gave my ex's to st vincent de pauls. good times!

-Mallori said...

this is great, and such good advice! Olivia sound HILARIOUS!

-Mallori said...

Dear beautiful, wonderfully amazing Sam:

Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting when you could! I appreciate you spending time in my corner of the blog world with your limited internet access, it means a lot to me!

I hope you are enjoying your time in Australia!

have a good (Thursday) Friday and weekend!

much love :)

lindsay said...

i really must agree with every single thing this sweet lady had to see. for serious!! :) love you xo